Introduction
This
leaflet has been produced by a group of adoptive parents in PACS, Post
Adoption Central Support, which is funded by Clackmannan, Falkirk and
Stirling Councils. It has arisen from experiences these parents and
children have had in local schools in the last few years. Parents believe
that their children have been deeply affected by their experiences of
separation from their previous main carers and that this can come out
in unexpected and at times dramatic ways. They would like to work with
their children’s teachers.
What are attachment
issues?
‘Attachment Issues’ is a phrase being used at present to describe
a variety of behaviours which may arise after a child has lost his/her
‘primary carer’, often the mother, and has experienced emotional
abandonment in early years. These behaviours can show themselves in
many ways – children become overanxious to please, desperate to
do anything to escape another abandonment. Some act out their chaotic
feelings in chaotic behaviour. Others turn in on their own pain and
withdraw, unable to relate to others. Either way, this can present major
problems to the schools they are in.
Why are we talking about attachment issues?
Society expects that children in the care of local authorities (looked
after children) may show such behaviours, but adopted children are thought
of as the ‘lucky ones’ who should be settled with their new
families and not be behaving in these ways. But ALL adopted children
– babies, toddlers and older ones – will have experienced
grief, loss and trauma. Many will have been neglected and abused along
the way.
As a group of adoptive parents we believe that many children who display
challenging behaviour in our schools are affected by attachment issues.
We know how confusing and difficult their behaviour can be to live with
and they are sometimes criticised, rejected and even excluded from school.
But we think that our children are entitled to receive understanding
and support as they struggle to come to terms with the pain inside them.
If they are constantly labelled as ‘naughty’ or ‘difficult’,
what hope is there for them in the future? They deserve better
Is
it only adopted children who have attachment issues?
No, of course not. Anyone who has had interrupted care in their lives
may experience difficulties in making attachments. If a child has had
to stay in hospital either at birth or later, if the mother has had
post-natal depression or family life has broken down because of divorce
or substance misuse, attachment issues may set in. Adopted children
are especially vulnerable. Many more older children are being placed
with adoptive families after long histories of abuse, neglect and moves
in and out of foster care.
People used to think that babies who were adopted “would not notice”
the change. Research now shows this is not the case– babies DO
notice when the birth mother disappears. Issues of grief and loss may
recur for them at different points of their lives.
So
how does this affect the children at school
You
may want your child to
The
Child With Attachment Issues May Be Dealing All Day With
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